Friday 28 September 2012

Ventriloquism helps (part 2)

Dear reader,

we visited my mom yesterday. It was the first time for my sister and me. A friend of my parents', who also was with them on the tour, drove us. He and my dad had seen her before already in the hospital in france. I didn't say to her yet what I described in my last post, that I wanted to tel her. Although I thought about what and how to say it, in case other people would listen, too, and I wouldn't be able to say it directly the way I would if we had been alone. During the visiting hours in the hospital the doctors take some time off and go through the rooms talking to the relatives. The doctor didn't say much. We already knew the next steps and for now there's not much more we can do than just wait. When the doctor was there, she told us my mom is biting quite a bit when they're doing the oral hygiene. Understandably so. Who would like someone else "fumbling around" in our mouth and the tube to breathe certainly isn't comfortable for her. As the doctor went away, I would have liked to tell my mom what I want to tell her. Especially since the doctor had talked about biting. Not that my mom would take it as an order to bite. I didn't feel all too comfortable about it though that such words were used in her presence. I don't believe that people need to be that strict and have to watch there every word thinking three times about which ones to use, before actually saying them in her presence. After all she's still very far away and they sedated her, that's giving her tranquilizer, for the transportation to germany and the other day too, to change the tubes as well. A part of me is mean and wondering how the heck she's supposed to wake up from the coma if they sedate her again. On the other hand, of course, I see the point of doing that and that its necessary to do. We'll see. I wonder if it's possible to wake someone up by first picking up on the breathing rhythm of the other person and then taking over so to speak and leading to breathe together in such a way that would wake her up. Adjusting the breathing and then leading to breathe together in a different way is very indirect and often the other person doesn't notice, but it can be very effective and create change. That's especially important in hypnosis and relaxation and an inconspicuous, but very important thing. When we like other people in our daily life, this often happens, too. We adjust our breathing to match theirs, the tempo of how fast or slow we talk adjusts to one another and other aspects attune as well. I don't know what's possible in that aspect for my mom and me. My knowledge about hypnosis is mostly theory and otherwise limited to a little playing around with myself. apart from the two already mentioned friends where what I wanted to do didn't go too well. The situation with my mom will indeed be a test, just like the headline of my last entry read. Writing it this way has a morbid taste to it, or at least one may read it that way. Test. Like my mom is a test subject, someone to play around with. We'll see what comes out. (So much for: not giving continued details...)

I believe it was the beginning of this week when I brought my bat Gaston from Bochum back to my parents here. I wanted to have him to practise ventriloquism better with a real figure. Besides he's soft and warm and a pretty good substitute for my guinea pigs, which I often take out in the eve in front of my tv to have them on my lap. Up until two days ago my dad had some stomach problems. I gave him a big heart cushion, but he said it didn't fit that well. The other day we sat together watching tv. I had Gaston on my belly, because mine wasn't doing all too good either. My dad didn't want to have Gaston for himself. But then I wanted to get something from the kitchen. Normally I gave the guinea pigs away to my parents if I wanted something from the kitchen in the past so I wouldn't need to take them with me when I had them out on my lap. And now I did the same with Gaston somewhat casually giving him to my dad. He spread the wings, like I did and placed him on his belly. Some time later he said that the bat was really good. The wings would keep it all nice and warm. Up until the day before yesterday we took turns taking Gaston. When he had him, I took the heart. The day before yesterday he didn't want Gaston anymore. Only yesterday again I casually left him with my dad and as I walked out I saw my dad about to stick his hand into Gaston. When I was back from the kitchen with a yoghurt, Gaston said to me, "Hello. Getting hungry, aye?" I saw that my dad's lips were, quite "professionally" slightly parted, but they didn't move. We both had to grin.

Ventriloquism helps. Even if it's just by turning a figure into a hot bag for the belly. Another aspect of it is that for ventriloquism the jaws have to be relaxed. Otherwise you'll feel it in your jaws after a while. Many people when they're stressed are literally clenching their teeth so their jaws are all tense. I realised now that I'm getting more playful again and started practising ventriloquism again. It seems that I don't watch my jaws when I'm stressed. In theory ventriloquism could help against stress, since you've got to have relaxed jaws to do it. Now that my mom is closer to us again, the situation is more relaxed again for all of us. It was nice to see my dad getting a bit more playful again and seeing him play a bit with Gaston. Given that he knows nothing and only has seen some short videos with ventriloquists that I showed him, I was pleasantly surprised. Then again "Hello. Getting hungry, aye?" doesn't have difficult letters in it, for which you'd usually need to move your lips. ;-)

Until next blog,

sarah

Thursday 27 September 2012

The Test(?)

Dear reader,

three days after my birthday, September, 9 my mom had a bad bike accident. She and my dad and friends were out and she fell. At the moment she's still in an induced coma, which is normal after heavy head injuries and the usual way to go, putting her in an induced coma. I can't say much more at this moment and I also don't want to write about this at this moment now. Not because it would be bad, but to spare me the continued updating with details about her condition.

I think, in bad situations, crisis, people try to make sense of it, so that the bad situation isn't totally "senseless". The situation with my mom brought me back to hypnosis and trance. That's why the condition of my mom is worth mentioning for me here and now. Because I think that a coma is in some ways similar to a trance. (Although "trance" and "hypnosis" aren't the same, some of you may understand better if I wrote about "hypnosis" rather than "trance". I'll soon write about my favourite therapist Milton Erickson and explain more about trance, hypnosis and other related things then.) Trance and coma are in any case an altered state of consciousness. Both are states in which we filter less of what others tell us and accept it more easily than we would in a waking state.

It took some time for me to think those things that way. At first she was in france anyway, because they were doing their tour there and she only got back here to germany in a neighbour town on the night of the 17/18th. So there was hardly anything I could have done, even if I wanted to. And even now I can't quite help her the way I want to yet. I've got a cold now. Since my mom is still at the intensive care unit in the hospital, I don't want to risk infecting her.

Here is my thought: a coma is a special state of consciousness, at least in some parts similar to a trance state. Also it's very possible that doctors, nurses and now also visitors like my family and friends, may talk directly to my mom or talk among themselves in her present and use words that don't help her in the healing process. For example someone might mention the possibility of her being paralysed or something. Yes, the possibility of that is real. But in her state it's dangerous to hear something like that. Even if she doesn't sense the things around her on a conscious level, I do believe she senses them somehow in some way unconsciously still.

Therefore I'd like to tell her something I'd tell other people, who want to work with me with hypnosis and tell her something like this, "Some people say that you can't her. But you have two ears, which work well and you hear many things other people say. Either they're talking to you or among themselves in here. I want you to only keep in mind those things you think are important and true and which help you now. All the other things you can easily ignore and forget."

I think it's important to say something like that before starting to do hypnosis with someone. Because it gives the other person the opportunity, the legitimation(!), that not everything I tell that person has to be accepted. It may well happen that I unconsciously or unknowingly tell things the person doesn't like. With those few lines the person can ignore just those selected things and feel good about it, and without disregarding everything else that follows, just because a part of it didn't fit in their values and way of thinking. I therefore think it's an important protection for my mom now. Especially now. Even if she's not consciously aware of it and I may have to repeat something like that several times, as long as she's in the coma.

I don't believe in (a) god. But the thoughts I thought about those things I described here over the past days. Maybe they're some way of nudging me back to hypnosis. After I wanted to make two friends hypnotically drunk and it didn't work on one of them and only a bit on the other, I sort of gave up hypnotising other people. Even though I know this was nobody's "fault" that the experiment didn't work out well. It still made me feel bad and I unfairly blame myself and thinking many too many negative thoughts about it. Now is my new chance with my mom and to truly help her.

Until next blog,

sarah

Thursday 6 September 2012

Moving on

Dear reader,

that's it now. I moved to my new place. Sadly I made the mistake of wanting to be available fast and wanted to have a low price to save money. Instead of checking prices, I should have gone for quality. So I have internet right now, but will be out of touch again soon, like I have been when my laptop was in repair, because I will change the provider.

I was uncertain, I have slept very bad, but my decision is made now and the woman on the phone was very nice to help me get out of my contracts again. Now all I have to do is go to the new provider and get the new contracts done and give back the stuff to the shop of my old provider where I bought them just a week before. Again no internet. But I don't care. I have learned to live without it over the last couple of weeks already. It won't take too long anyway.

Anyway, the new flat is small, but nice. I don't need much space as a single person anyway. Most of the boxes are empty already now, although I've been living here for not even a whole week now.

Moving on step by step. "And why do we fall Bruce? To learn to pick ourselves up again." Thomas Wayne in "Batman Begins"

Until next blog,

sarah